If you look back at when you were a child, a teenager, or even now as an adult, your definition of acceptance and rejection may have remained the same.
You may no longer want be the “it” girl or “it” boy anymore yet you want to be liked and loved for who you are.
Or maybe, you still want to be that “it” person and fit in, but keep perceiving rejection as one of the worst human crimes.
We long to be accepted while often attempting to avoid rejection. BUT, rejection is also part of our growth process.
You may not know me but I am here to tell you — humans need acceptance and rejection within their lives.
Does it sound weird? It may — but trust me, it will make more and more sense as you keep reading.
If you are parents and/or aunts and uncles, I am encouraging you to have your children, nephews, and nieces, and in truth, anybody who you feel is going through this constant battle of wanting to be accepted yet fearing to be rejected to read this piece.
I am not saying what you are about to read will save lives or anything of that nature; however, I am confident it can make those who will read this article be more aware of what has been going on with them and their desire to feel and be accepted while not wanting to be rejected.
Let’s dive in
What’s wrong with wanting to be accepted?
Nothing, absolutely nothing. It is what humans long for — acceptance. However, is there such thing as wanting too much of it? I believe so.
The fact a child, a teen, or an adult wants to fit in is not wrong in itself. The problem is when that child, teen, or adult chooses to define himself or herself through someone else lenses — that, in my opinion, is the start of something bigger.
When that child, teen, or adult look at an immediate situation, they don’t see everything that makes the situation what it is. They see glimpses of it — or put differently, when you take on a big puzzle, there’re hundreds of pieces everywhere and until you put them all together, you won’t have an accurate view of what that puzzle looks like (unless you look at the image on the box, LOL).
In acceptance type of situations, your emotions are making decisions and although you’re initiating the decision process, there’re always various outcomes to a situation no matter who you’re interacting with.
I want you to see it like this, oftentimes you are a shape that wants to fit into another shape’s mold. To put it simply, you’re a triangle who attempts to fit into a circle’s mold.
Why it ain’t working you think to yourself?
Well, you’re not the same shape as the others and although it does not mean you are not able to get along, share ideas, and enjoy each others’ presence; but know there is NOTHING wrong with you if your triangle shape does not fit into the circle’s mold shape.
You have ideas of your own, you have dreams of your own, you have experiences of your own, you have interests of your own; you have plenty going on for you if you only start to listen and observe how things are working around you.
You’ll soon realize that because of your triangle shape, you can meet other triangle shapes. And because you’re choosing who to connect and communicate with, you’re evolving. You’re learning.
You can still hang with the other shapes but you’re now better positioned with your understanding of certain situations. You know you don’t have to attempt to please those other shapes nor to attempt to be like them. You’re a triangle after all and if they want to know you more than they’ll make the effort to learn about your triangle characteristics. Plain and simple.
But, I don’t like to be rejected
Hey, rejection is part of your growing process. We all get rejected. In truth, we get rejected way more often than we get accepted. The sooner someone understands that the better their life is going to be.
When you think about it, what is rejection?
Is it the fact that someone did not want to play with you when you were a kid? Is it that you applied to the college of your dream and they said no? Is it that you thought you were that special someone for someone else and they never paid you any attention? Is it because your boss refused to promote you? As you see, I can go all day about what rejection means to different people, but I want you to start thinking differently. I want you to see it as something that NEEDED to happen. As something essential for you to move forward.
When you look at it like that, it does not matter who tells you NO and who is not wanting your help.
Do you know why it doesn’t matter?
It doesn’t matter because they are not saying NO to you. In their world, what you are offering does not appeal to them and that is totally fine because, I am sure, you have said NO many many many times in your lifetime without necessarily caring about the impact of your no’s.
You see, people do what they do because they have an agenda that fits with the world they choose to live in. They want to get somewhere and you may or may not be able to help them, and that is TOTALLY fine.
You may read this article and totally disagree with what I am saying and that’s ok with me or you may totally dig it and share it with others and that’s also ok as well.
When you’ll talk with your child, your teen, your nephews and nieces, or with other adults — let them know, it is ok if they say NO. It is ok if they disagree with what you are saying or doing. They are accepting what is best for them at that time and not rejecting you.
At the same time, when you’ll say NO to someone, you’ll be accepting what is best for you and your reality and not rejecting them.
I will conclude with this, today you learned a new perspective. You’ve welcome acceptance and rejection as part of your world. You understand you’ll be accepted time and time again all while being rejected even more; still all of it is part of you growing up.
As you re-read this article, think of both notions walking hands-in-hands. They are opposites that get along with one another. They are needed for one another as they provide good retrospection on situations.
As you continue your journey to a better you, you’ll have each notion in your hands. You’ll accept that you’ll say yes to some and no to others. You’ll have people telling you yes while others will be telling you no. Yet, everyone is evolving at their own rhythm and dancing at their own acceptance and rejection cadence.
Long gone the days you’ll wish to be accepted or cry because you’ve been rejected; what you learned reading these lines is that your worth IS NOT tied into anyone else acceptance or rejection of you, but to the fact that as you keep moving forward, you’re accepting this fact and rejecting your former way of thinking.