“i Know I’m Stuck Living A Life That Doesn’t Even Exist.” — A.o.

Written by Martine Cloutier-LeBlanc

Founder and CEO of CAPTIVATE MY DAY, loving life to its fullest

November 17, 2021

Less than 48 hours ago, I was paralyzed by the words I heard. I considered these words being rooted in an extreme pain, a profound despair of being heard and help.

A voice within me shouted “how could this be”, “how can someone still feel as such in 2021”, my heart ache as tears fell down my cheeks.

A new reality was hitting me. As I look in the eyes of my interlocutor, a lifeless person was looking back at me. For a moment, no more words were exchanged, only our breathing and tears were the voices of our wordless conversation.

“I know I’m stuck living a life that doesn’t even exist” resonated in my whole being. It became an obsession. I started thinking of others and wonder how many people live this life without really being able to enjoy it. They are ONLY existing in this big world of ours. They are NOT participating nor enjoying its beauty. On the contrary, each day reveal a similar pain, a faceless existence.

What can I do to help someone who believes they are “stuck living a life that doesn’t even exist?”

The more I sat and thought, the more I realized, it is not only one individual who is living as such, but plenty of others.

Young and old, women and men, CEO’s to homeless, an amalgam of people goes through life disengaged with themselves, withdrawn from their environment, and detached from the world that has given them life — these individuals are suffering, and most of them in silence.



No matter what is your answers to these questions, my desire for you is that you CHOOSE to live life, don’t just exist in this world.

It is true, life can be tricky at times. It is true, it can oftentimes seem as the world is closing down on you, but at the same time, I want you to ask yourself: HAVE YOU BEEN CLOSING YOURSELF TO THE WORLD?

When you take a deeper look into your life and how you often chose to handle different situations, is it possible, without even recognizing it, you’ve closed yourself to others?

Is it possible you shot yourself down and chose to no longer seek others’ perspectives, help, and comfort?

If that is your reality, know plenty of people care about you. I care about you even if we’ve never met.
Hold on to life.

Hold on to the voices that tell you life is worth living.

Hold on to your dreams and desires.

Hold on to what may not seem like it at the moment but hold on to that future you who is living a better life.

A life full of meaning. A life where you are helping others who are now going through what you have gone through.

Without realizing it, you’ll become their voice of hope. Their voice for a better life. Their voice for a life worth living. As you’re not giving up neither are they. They are holding on.

2021 does not have to end sadly. 2021 can have a different ending. 2021 can help you create a better 2022. Trust yourself. Know your worth and let others help you.

A.O., I am speaking directly to you — I believe in you, but more importantly, I want you to BELIEVE in yourself, in your abilities, in your future.

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